All My Life I Have Wanted To Be In Love

All my life I have wanted to fall in love.

I love the desperation. 

The honesty.

The vulnerability.

The love.

I have liked many a girl. I have even possibly come close to loving one.

Yet I never thought that this would happen.

I never thought I would fall out love.

I never thought that my feelings would sink away.

Each day a little more of the pool in my heart, drying up.

And as much as I hated the pain of knowing that my feelings for her were not returned.

The bittersweet pain of her not even thinking of me in more than just a friend.

I hate this more.

I no longer have no pain to cling desperately onto, like a drowning sailor.

My fingernails digging in with all might as my lifejacket is slowly wrenched from my grip.

As she slowly escapes the aspirations of my heart and dreams.

Instead I now stand at the shores of my heart.

Watching in the distance the beauty of the sea.

Yes, I still see the storms. 

The waves. 

The deadly currents and the sharks slowly circling.

But out there at least I had the occasional glimpse of hope.

Of rescue.

Of my lifejacket. 

Of my aspirations.

Of her.

Instead I now stand here, the waves now crashing at my feet. The sand running between my toes.

I am trapped on a desert island.

Baren. 

Devoid of life.

Devoid of feelings.

But I want to care about her once again.

I want to slowly sink under the waves, with her almost within reach.

The Bittersweet Taste of Love

Your beauty is that of myths and legends,

So rare and precious that men would fight over you.

For you have become the essence of all things captivating,

In a way, only you could do.

You have stolen my attention,

Like a thief in the night.

And my knees grow weak,

Every time you enter my sight.

With eyes like jewels,

That lure my gaze.

Your skin so soft,

You never cease to amaze.

I find being with you is like a drug,

An emotional high that never descends.

Every time you glance or at me or give me a hug,

I want it to never end.

Your laugh like the rain,

A pleasant sound to my ears.

Yet I watch in fascination,

As you fill me with all the fear,

Of all the things I could wrong,

When you're next to me, right here.

For I would pronounce my undying love for you,

If only you would hear.

But now as you have ignored me,

My day seems as black as night.

Your light is gone from my world,

Vanishing far away from my sight.

And yet I would cross the farthest ocean,

Just to be by your side,

To hear you say my name.

With me you could confide,

All your secrets, all your pain.

All your hurts you want to hide.

But alas, it wasn't meant to be.

So here I will eternally bide,

On the other side of the farthest ocean,

Waiting for you to be here,

By my side.